A New Chapter & A Review of the Last One

WOW. It's been a long time since I blogged. Over a year ago. I always want to, but I guess it's the OCD in me that keeps me from it. I would just obsess about it being funny enough or relevant or that anyone would care or read it. And what about the style and the spelling and the pictures. OH MY! Way too much for this little perfectionist. But, like in other areas of my life, I am working on this part of my character. I want to be molded by the Potter, made more like Him and with less of me.

So, here goes. I am back in the blogging world. And yes, I know, I have said that before. But this time I really have something I want to blog about and document. Not that the other parts of my life aren't worthy of blogging about, I'll include those, too. What is this new chapter you say? Well, like everything else in my world...it has a story. If you have a minute, or an hour, sit down and I'll tell you about it...

It all started about 5 years ago. Brandon and I had moved to Pikeville and we were getting settled into our new home, new jobs, and for me, a new town. Amidst all of these new pressures, we felt like we were ready to bring a new life into our family. But after months and months, it just wasn't happening. So, after a few trips to my (former) OB, I decided it was time for us to move on. We decided to go to the Institute for Reproductive Health in Cincinnati, OH. Some friends of ours had gone there and had fallen in love with the doctors and staff, and were also blessed with twin girls. The very first time I set foot in the office, I knew it was a special place. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries that day, and set on a treatment plan that would hopefully end in a successful pregnancy. Many more months passed and things were not getting better. In August of 2005, we made the decision with Dr. Awadalla to move on to the next step, which would be invitro fertilization (IVF). Our doctor just didn't think having a baby on our own was in the books for us. We were set to come back mid-September for 2 days of education and testing. Little did we know, that God had a different plan for us...and a sense of humor.

So, as we sat there watching the videos on how to give the shots of medicine I would need and all the procedures we would go through, I was actually pregnant and didn't know it! Early October rolls around and I still have not started the IVF treatments. So I decided to take "just one more pregnancy test" to see if it is positive. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. We went to an early-morning sale at a store here in Pikeville, then we went home and I took the test. I could not believe my eyes when it was pregnant. But it was! I almost fell down the stairs. We just didn't know what to do or think. I called Dr. Awadalla's office and left a message for the nurse on what I had found out. Later Dr. Awadalla himself called me and said he thought it would have to be a false positive because there wasn't any way I was going to get pregnant on my own. He said, "it would be a miracle, Courtney." I called a friend of mine who is a PA and she said I should go for a blood test. I did and I was so tired (hint, hint) when I got home that I slept for an hour until they called with the results. Brandon was a nervous wreck and couldn't understand how I could sleep at a time like this. Eventually, they called back with the results that sure enough, I was pregnant. We went up to Cincy a couple of weeks later and Dr. Awadalla told me this baby I was carrying was a miracle and a blessing. He didn't know how right he was! Carter Chad was born in June of 2006.

So, that's the first part of my infertility story. I didn't mention all of the heartbreak, guilt, tears and worry that went along with it. I also left out all of the prayers, scriptures and encouraging words that brought me closer to my Heavenly Father than ever before. Because of that, I am thankful for my infertility.

The next part of this adventure began a little over a year ago. Brandon and I had known for some time that we want more children. We were just so enjoying our time with Carter, watching him grow and learn, and just loving every minute with him. But he was two then and we didn't want our children too far apart. So, we started praying even more fervently about having another child. We had been told it would probably be easier this time, as pregnancy sometimes has a way of shifting the ovaries into the right gear. Well, this wasn't the case with us. I took Clomid, a drug that is used to induce ovulation, for 4 months and never even came close to achieving the results they were looking for. After these trying months, with the blessing of my OB, whom I absolutely love and think very highly of, we decided to go back to see Dr. Awadalla.

It was so refreshing to walk into that office and be treated like family again. Dr. Awadalla recognized us and we talked for a long time. We all agreed that IVF would be the way to go...again. We joked that really all we needed was to sign up for the education and then come back and we'd be pregnant. But this time, that wouldn't happen because our education day was that day. We left there prepared in some ways and anxious in many others.

As of yesterday, August 12, we are finally starting the IVF process. I go tomorrow, locally, to get my blood drawn so they have a baseline to work off of. The first part of this process involves taking birth control pills for 21 days to regulate the ovaries. 2 weeks into this, I start taking Lupron shots everyday for at least 12 days. This will what they call "down-regulate" the ovaries, or how I understand it, completely shut them off, or "quiet them" as the nurse told me. I wanted to say, if they are so loud, why don't they work? Anyway, once this is achieved, I will begin the process of revving my ovaries back up. All of this I was explain when it happens. I know this is overwhelming and a lot of info. But it's cathartic to me to be able to write it all down, and it will serve as good memories for the future.

So, that's it. That is what has been going on in our lives for the past 15 months. That and raising the most amazing, little 4 year old boy in the world. He truly is a miracle and a blessing. Could I ask you to pray some specific prayers with us?

1. Pray for peace, patience and dependence on God as we continue to travel this road.

2. One of the things we are most anxious about it how many embryos there will be if everything else goes accordingly. We do not want to have multiples, at least not more than 2, because of risk to the babies or myself. We do not want to have too many embryos to freeze, and then the decisions that come along with that. But what we really want...is what God wants.

3. Pray that my body reacts positively to the medicines and procedures.

4. And my biggest prayer has not been for myself or the possible new life (lives). It has been for Carter. I want him to be prepared, as much as possible, to have an open heart in sharing his Mommy and Daddy and home with a sibling or siblings. Right now, he is our world...and he knows it ;). Just as we are praying for God to prepare us for what He has planned for us, please join us in praying for Carter's heart and mind to be prepared for what God has planned for him.

Thanks for reading...stay tuned. I promise I'll be back.

May- June 2008

After being back from Naples for a few weeks, we went to Chicago to visit Todd and Courtney, my brother and his wife...are you confused yet? Carter had never been before and we wanted him to enjoy his aunt and uncle and get to experience a big city. I'm not sure what was wrong with Carter, but he was in a pretty rotten mood at times while we were there. But, we went ahead with our plans, all of which revolved around him. We went to the Shedd's Aquarium, which I think he would have loved if he was a little older and I didn't have to keep him in the stroller to keep track of him. It was very crowded that day, too. We also went to the Lincoln Park Zoo. He liked that better because we were outside and he LOVES monkeys. He was eye to eye with a big ape like the one in The Lion King. He sang him the "do the monkey" song from The Wiggles. He also rode the Carousel. He wasn't sure of it at first, but once it got going he shouted "weeeeeeeee" the whole time. It was so great to go to Chicago and see Todd and Courtney before their own little man came into our world.

June is Birthday Month for Carter. If you know me very well, you know I am a planner. Fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants is not in my vocabulary. I mean, I am already planning 2009 for pete's sake. So, I started planning Carter's 2nd birthday pretty much right after his 1st. I had wanted to use the City Park for his 1st but it was unavailable so we used another park in town. It was nice but I had my sights set on that Gazebo and Shelter in the City Park. Plus, we take Carter there all the time since we live downtown and he absolutely loves the "sings" and "sides". Even the drawbridge is a "side" in Carter's world. So, I called back in March to book it. Wouldn't you know it it was already booked for Saturday afternoon, so we went with Friday evening, June 6, the day after Carter's real birthday.

Carter was REALLY into the Wiggles back in the spring (he still is...yea) so of course a Wiggly Party was in store. Luckily the party stores in Lexington still had Wiggles decor so that's what we went with. Along with the Wiggles gear, we used red, blue, yellow and purple (duh, the Wiggles colors) for the tables and balloons. I ordered a Wiggles Cake kit and had the store make a huge cake for me. Although I could have done this myself, they make the best cakes so it was one less thing I had to worry about. "CAKE" is one of Carter's favorite words so that was a BIG hit with him.

We put the presents by the gazebo and let the kids play and eat. We had pizza, chips and drinks. Last year we grilled out and with that many people, we didn't get to enjoy it as much. So we went the easy route this year and actually spent time with the friends and family that came to celebrate our precious, little boy's second birthday.

Carter had a ball chasing the older kids and he sat for a long time on the tricycle his great-mimmie gave him. All of the kids played with the toys he got. The 3 riding toys were huge hits!
We ended the party busting a Wiggles pinata and the candy just FLOWED out of it. All of the kids definitely had a sugar high after our party.

I just cannot believe my little boy turned 2 this year. I honestly remember every bit of my pregnancy, which seems like just yesterday. To us, our pregnancy was a miracle. We were told it would take lots of time and medicine for us to have a child. Then one October morning, I had a feeling I should take "just one more test". We both doubted it would read positive, as it never had before. But we learned that morning not to doubt the power and mercy of God. He had given us a gift, trusted us with a precious life. Our prayer is that we raise Carter in a way that is pleasing to God and in a way that shows people how blessed we are to have him. We want our blessing to shine a light back onto God, for He is worthy of all our praise and worship.

These first two years of Carter's life have been amazing. To watch him grow and learn and explore and discover and laugh has taught me the true meaning of joy. I just can't wait to see what God has in store for us and for Carter.

2008 Summer Review

Yes, here it is September and I am just now reviewing my summer. Brandon, Carter and I have been lucky enough to travel to many places this summer. In May, Brandon and I were privileged to go to Naples, FL and stay in the FABULOUS Ritz Carlton for the AstraZeneca Circle of Excellence trip. This trip is awarded to the AZ sales representatives who achieve sales in the top 2% of the company for the year before. This was our second Circle of Excellence trip. We went back in 2006 (when I was 36 weeks pregnant- it was our "babymoon") to Palm Springs, CA to the La Quinta Resort and Spa. I loved that trip but since it was 2 years ago, just look up the resort if you want to know how wonderful it is. I might add some pics from that trip to my facebook page.

Anyway, back to this summer. Our trip to Naples started with a pool party that included synchronized swimmers, glass walk ways across the pool and yummy, gourmet island style food. On Monday I chose to go to the Spa for a facial and Brandon went Back Water fishing. We both thoroughly enjoyed our days and that night were treated to a dinner at Ngala. This means "the place of the lion" and is home to many abandoned animals, although no lions- go figure! Some of these animals were bought as pets and the owners quickly learned they could not take care of them. Others are not pure breeds like in zoos, so they are sent here. We were serenaded by African music as we ate wonderful, island style food.

On Tuesday we enjoyed the beautiful, blue Gulf of Mexico and sandy, white beach. We went out pretty early and were treated to a pod of dolphins playing right in front of our hotel. That night was our Gala and Awards Ceremony. It was decorated with Tiffany's blue, sliver and black. We had ballroom dancers as entertainment and the food was fabulous. I can't remember exactly what we had, but I know the entree was lobster tail and filet mignon- yummy! We spent the evening dancing, recognizing our hard work from 2007 and enjoying reps from all over the nation.











On Wednesday Brandon and I chose to go on a catamaran cruise to a private island. On the way there we passed the most beautiful homes. We daydreamed about what it would be like to have one of those or how we could get our hands on one someday. We also wondered what those people do for a living? Once we got to the island we searched for shells and enjoyed the quite ebb and flow of our own island- ours and about 40 other AstraZeneca friends.

That evening we had a free night to explore Naples. After all of the gourmet, us Kentucky kids wanted some laid-back, live music atmosphere and food. So we found a little, local seafood dive, my favorite places on vacations, and enjoyed the bay, the salty air and some good old hush puppies and crab legs.
On Thursday we chose to go on an air-boat through the Florida Everglades. As we drove to the area, we could see alligators in the canals on the sides of the roads. I started to get nervous. When I was little, I would get in line for The Beast or The Vortex at Kings Island, get all the way to the front, and then chicken out. OK...I might still do that. But that is the way I felt as we arrived to take our ride. There were 3 couples that wanted to go together and since we were the last ones to get to a boat, the only one left was for 4 people. Well, the driver said it would be OK to take 6, even though 1 of the guys we had with us is a good sized guy. The more I thought about it, I could just see how it would all play out...we'd get out there and start to sink while the alligators surround us and eat us one by one. The tune from Peter Pan when the crocodile was trying to get Peter or Captain kept playing in my head...that and Jaws for some reason. When we got on the boat, if you wanna call it that, we noticed there were no seat belts and no life jackets. Brandon made it all better when he said life jackets wouldn't help anyway! But, much to my surprise, it was super fun. We saw lots of alligators, many really close up. Our guide showed us the big males of the swamp and where they wait to mate and eat. We did have a bit of a scare when a HUGE fireball came out of the back of our engine. But we made it back safely and even held a baby alligator.



That evening we were invited to a "Night of Senses" dinner. Basically, there was loud music, every kind of food for any palate, lights everywhere. It was nice but after we all ate we opted to go out by the pool to enjoy our last night in Naples.

If you ever get the chance to go to Naples, I highly recommend it. It is absolutely beautiful. I can see why people retire there. It has a lot to offer, too. Lots of great shopping- black label shopping to local vendors. The Ritz is exactly like I thought it would be- perfect. This was a wonderful way to start our summer. Now that we have been on two of these trips, we are a bit spoiled. Brandon is always prodding me to work harder so he can go on another trip. In 2009 it is to Scottsdale, AZ, and we are working hard to achieve this award again.

Bad Blogger

OK, OK...I know. I am a bad blogger. I haven't posted since April, but it's not that I haven't thought about it. I really have, I have just been super-duper busy. So, I am going to make a few posts to update you on what has been going on in my life and then I promise I'll try to do better.

BUT, since the Olympics are one of my all-time favorite things and they only come on once every 4 years, I gotta get back to Michael Phelps. Oh my...

Memories of Mr. Bill

If you're a Kentucky Basketball fan, you know by now that Bill Keightley, "Mr. Wildcat" passed away on Monday while on a trip to see the Cincinnati Reds openning day. I worked in the UK Athletic department for most of my undergraduate and graduate years at UK. During this time, I came to know Mr. Keightley simply as Mr. Bill. It was always a treat to get to go into the equipment room to see Mr. Bill- he told the best stories! Each time he'd launch into a story, it was as if time had stopped for him and he remembered every detail of those stories. He was also a frequent visitor to the suites at Commonwealth Stadium, where I also worked for many years. When he got off that elevator, he was like a rock star. Only difference was even though everyone wanted to be around him and talk to him, it seemed like he was just as happy making everyone else happy, making everyone else the center of his attention. He loved to have a good time, cut up and laugh- what an infectious laugh.
While we were at the SEC tournament this year, Brandon and I had a conversation about how we hoped Mr. Bill would be around to see his 50th year as equipment manager. I guess 48 ain't so bad. That bench sure will look different next season. God bless you Mr. Bill.

Thank you Easter bunny

Each day is such a new adventure for Carter, and Easter didn't disappoint. Carter woke up to an Easter basket full of mostly toys, some candy. He looked at each thing with such interest. He got a football, soccer ball and basketball, 2 movies, a stuffed duck that quacks and a basketball hoop and another ball. His big thing right now is getting as close as he can to you and throwing the ball as hard as he can, all the while saying "SHOOOOOOOT"! That's my little wildcat!



Although I know I am a bit biased, he looked adorable, just like an Easter egg, in his purple shirt and green sweater vest. After church, we are at Brandon's grandmothers and awaited the time for the annual Easter egg hunt. Carter and Brandon's cousin who is in second grade were the only little ones there this year, so they each got their own hunt. This hunt is so important because each egg carries a dollar amount. You get $1 for each egg, except if you find the one with the star on it, you get $10. Carter found 13 eggs, including 1 with a star. We had a practice round at nursery school on Thursday, so Carter was ready to go once we set him loose. Each time he found an egg and threw it (literally) into his bucket, he said "YEEEAAAA". It was too cute!

After the hunt, Carter discovered his new favorite food- PEEPS! He loved, no savored, each bite he took with those first few. Now, when he gets one, he just devours it.

This Easter was definitely one to remember. I'd be remiss if I didn't take a moment to remember what this holiday is all about and the blessings we have been given because of the Gift given to us. Last weekend, we went with some friends of ours to Louisville to see Southeast Christian Church's Easter Pageant. It was phenomenal- I definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to see the story of Christ laid out before their eyes. The tickets usually go on sale in January, so if you want to go next year, get them early. You won't be sorry.

No Dome Sweet Home

I'm a little late on this, but since returning from our annual trip to the SEC Men's Basketball Tournament, I have been so busy with work, I haven't been able to chronicle my trip here on my blog. So, now that I have a few minutes, here goes...

Brandon and his mom, dad and sister were in Myrtle Beach the entire week at a food show. Carter and I did not go because it is always cold this time of year and I had no way of getting Carter back to my parent's house to watch him for us during the tournament. I took Carter to Lexington on Wednesday night and left for Atlanta on Thursday late-morning. It was actually a nice drive down. It took me less than 6 hours and I was able to listen to all sorts of great talk-radio all the way there, which really excited me. I got there in time to see the 2 evening games- I only missed 1 session- YES! I know it's weird, but I actually like watching all of the other teams play. I like routing against our rival teams, and the SEC tournament wouldn't be any fun without a little heckling! This year, the Tennessee fans were the target, as they were the most annoying fans there. They had NO CLUE about basketball. They kept calling insane fouls and everything to them was a "carry". Brandon said it was just because they are used to only watching football. The most annoying thing they did though, was during their game versus South Carolina, of course we were routing against the Vols, the fans in orange around us kept shouting "Gardner Webb", of course referring to our embarrassing loss early in the season. I couldn't help by remind them that first of all, Gardner Webb wasn't playing right then and second of all, we beat them (UT) once, so I guess that makes them an embarrassment, too. It was too much fun!

Since we were sitting in the Vandy section, although if you have ever been, you know that really every section is a UK section, we made friends with a family from Nashville. It was a dad, his 11 year old daughter and 7 and 5 year old sons. I absolutely loved that little girl. She was so cute. She told me she was for UT and Vandy because she was just proud that both teams from her state made it to the tourney. I didn't have the heart to tell her that ALL the SEC teams get to play. Anyway, Friday was a great day- eating in the CNN Center, chanting CATS, CATS, CATS with all the other UK fans and enjoying time with Brandon. As time grew closer to our game, we knew that storms were supposed to be rolling in, but we never really thought another thing about it. It wasn't until overtime in the Miss. St/Alabama game that things really got fun and those storms became a reality! The little girl I mentioned from Vandy and I were talking, and all of a sudden, there was a really loud rumbling noise. It sounded a lot like thunder and I asked her if she thought that's what it was. We settled upon that and started talking again. Then...there it was again...only louder. This time, I looked at her and said, "We shouldn't be able to hear thunder like that in here." All of a sudden, three panels from the inside of the dome peeled back and banged against the inside of the upper arena. During the next few minutes, it was a surreal scene. The large screen hanging from the top of the dome was rotating, the lighting hanging over the court was swaying, the temporary seats (where my sister-in-law and her husband were sitting) started shaking (party from the storm, partly from the people trying to get the heck off of them), the scaffolding the camera crew was on was swaying and debris was falling from the top of the dome. Many, many people started running from their seats in the dome to the areas where the concession stands are. Lots of people were hunkered down in the bathrooms. I guess I just stood there in awe and terror watching all of this and when I figured it all out, I wanted to run, too. Brandon was afraid the stampede of people would trample us, so he wanted us to stay put. NO WAY! I was out of there and under a concrete beam with, of all people, a UT fan! I think it was one I had words with earlier in the day- oh well. Right now, I was just concerned about dying in the Georgia Dome without even getting to see the CATS play! Actually, I felt pretty safe in that structure made of concrete, as long as I wasn't under the tarp for a roof that was literally waving above us.

I stayed back there for what seems like forever and finally Brandon appeared. Everyone in that place was on their cell phone so I couldn't get a line out. The UT fan beside me was able to make a call, and he confirmed that it had been a tornado that had caused all of this havoc. During all of this time, and for the 2+ hours that followed, the TV screens in the dome were telling us there was severe weather in the area and to stay put in the dome. It was claimed that they came over the intercom and said the dome had been checked and it was safe. No one I have talked to ever heard that announcement. Finally, they agreed it was safe for Miss St and Alabama to finish their game. Alabama came back out flat and that was it- Miss St had won. The UK fans started chanting and we were revving up for our game, being told it might be midnight before it started. With all of the people on their cell phones and all of the blackberries going wild, including mine, we soon found out that there was more severe weather coming our way. I retreated again to the bathroom and watched the weather channel with other women and scared children. When I got back to my seat, the guy behind me must have had the fastest Internet available and just as he was saying our game would be postponed, the announcer told us the same thing. And then the booing began. And yes, the other fans there would say we (the UK fans) acted terrible, but I think it was well within line. We (10,000 of us strong) had come from all over the Big Blue Nation, probably spent the most money on food and lodging, and we were the only fans who didn't get to see their team play. Not fair! And with this announcement, it was also announced that the dome would be closing in 15 minutes and we should all get the heck out. Well, those weren't the words but it felt that way. After hours of them telling us to stay in for safety, suddenly they had made their decision and since they couldn't sell us anymore overpriced snacks, we were to get out and watch the broken glass, flying stop signs and desk chairs on our way out. We left, grumbling.

When we got outside, the destruction was amazing. It was still slightly raining and windy. I have attached some pictures from that night, although most of them are dark because many of the outside lights and lights from within the World Congress Center and CNN Center were out. I guess it was about 2am before we got into bed that night. We stayed in the hotel lobby for a long time trying to figure out where our car was and if it was OK, and if more weather came through, where we would go. Every noise that night made me jump up out of bed! I spent most of the night checking my blackberry for info on the Cats game. I finally read in the middle of the night (it was actually early Saturday morning, but it felt like the middle of the night) that it was to be at Georgia Tech and the chance of us fans getting in was slim...no, make that non-existent. So, we made the best of an awful situation and watched it there in our room. I tried to do the C-A-T-S cheer, but with just Brandon and I, it wasn't the same. After our loss, we slept most of the day. That is until I heard some sirens going off outside, and yes, it was another tornado. So I ran down the stairs and into a ballroom with all of 6 other people and Brandon trailing behind only to pacify me. That lasted all of 10 minutes. After that, we went out to survey the damage and to find something to eat. You can see the random windows out in the really tall buildings and practically every window out in the CNN Center side of the Omni Hotel.

We came home on Sunday to an excited little boy, which made all of the craziness and disappointment seem to disappear and remind us what really matters- our family. Sorry for the long post. I wanted to get my story out of my head. Maybe now I can put it to rest.