WOW. It's been a long time since I blogged. Over a year ago. I always want to, but I guess it's the OCD in me that keeps me from it. I would just obsess about it being funny enough or relevant or that anyone would care or read it. And what about the style and the spelling and the pictures. OH MY! Way too much for this little perfectionist. But, like in other areas of my life, I am working on this part of my character. I want to be molded by the Potter, made more like Him and with less of me.
So, here goes. I am back in the blogging world. And yes, I know, I have said that before. But this time I really have something I want to blog about and document. Not that the other parts of my life aren't worthy of blogging about, I'll include those, too. What is this new chapter you say? Well, like everything else in my world...it has a story. If you have a minute, or an hour, sit down and I'll tell you about it...
It all started about 5 years ago. Brandon and I had moved to Pikeville and we were getting settled into our new home, new jobs, and for me, a new town. Amidst all of these new pressures, we felt like we were ready to bring a new life into our family. But after months and months, it just wasn't happening. So, after a few trips to my (former) OB, I decided it was time for us to move on. We decided to go to the Institute for Reproductive Health in Cincinnati, OH. Some friends of ours had gone there and had fallen in love with the doctors and staff, and were also blessed with twin girls. The very first time I set foot in the office, I knew it was a special place. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries that day, and set on a treatment plan that would hopefully end in a successful pregnancy. Many more months passed and things were not getting better. In August of 2005, we made the decision with Dr. Awadalla to move on to the next step, which would be invitro fertilization (IVF). Our doctor just didn't think having a baby on our own was in the books for us. We were set to come back mid-September for 2 days of education and testing. Little did we know, that God had a different plan for us...and a sense of humor.
So, as we sat there watching the videos on how to give the shots of medicine I would need and all the procedures we would go through, I was actually pregnant and didn't know it! Early October rolls around and I still have not started the IVF treatments. So I decided to take "just one more pregnancy test" to see if it is positive. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. We went to an early-morning sale at a store here in Pikeville, then we went home and I took the test. I could not believe my eyes when it was pregnant. But it was! I almost fell down the stairs. We just didn't know what to do or think. I called Dr. Awadalla's office and left a message for the nurse on what I had found out. Later Dr. Awadalla himself called me and said he thought it would have to be a false positive because there wasn't any way I was going to get pregnant on my own. He said, "it would be a miracle, Courtney." I called a friend of mine who is a PA and she said I should go for a blood test. I did and I was so tired (hint, hint) when I got home that I slept for an hour until they called with the results. Brandon was a nervous wreck and couldn't understand how I could sleep at a time like this. Eventually, they called back with the results that sure enough, I was pregnant. We went up to Cincy a couple of weeks later and Dr. Awadalla told me this baby I was carrying was a miracle and a blessing. He didn't know how right he was! Carter Chad was born in June of 2006.
So, that's the first part of my infertility story. I didn't mention all of the heartbreak, guilt, tears and worry that went along with it. I also left out all of the prayers, scriptures and encouraging words that brought me closer to my Heavenly Father than ever before. Because of that, I am thankful for my infertility.
The next part of this adventure began a little over a year ago. Brandon and I had known for some time that we want more children. We were just so enjoying our time with Carter, watching him grow and learn, and just loving every minute with him. But he was two then and we didn't want our children too far apart. So, we started praying even more fervently about having another child. We had been told it would probably be easier this time, as pregnancy sometimes has a way of shifting the ovaries into the right gear. Well, this wasn't the case with us. I took Clomid, a drug that is used to induce ovulation, for 4 months and never even came close to achieving the results they were looking for. After these trying months, with the blessing of my OB, whom I absolutely love and think very highly of, we decided to go back to see Dr. Awadalla.
It was so refreshing to walk into that office and be treated like family again. Dr. Awadalla recognized us and we talked for a long time. We all agreed that IVF would be the way to go...again. We joked that really all we needed was to sign up for the education and then come back and we'd be pregnant. But this time, that wouldn't happen because our education day was that day. We left there prepared in some ways and anxious in many others.
As of yesterday, August 12, we are finally starting the IVF process. I go tomorrow, locally, to get my blood drawn so they have a baseline to work off of. The first part of this process involves taking birth control pills for 21 days to regulate the ovaries. 2 weeks into this, I start taking Lupron shots everyday for at least 12 days. This will what they call "down-regulate" the ovaries, or how I understand it, completely shut them off, or "quiet them" as the nurse told me. I wanted to say, if they are so loud, why don't they work? Anyway, once this is achieved, I will begin the process of revving my ovaries back up. All of this I was explain when it happens. I know this is overwhelming and a lot of info. But it's cathartic to me to be able to write it all down, and it will serve as good memories for the future.
So, that's it. That is what has been going on in our lives for the past 15 months. That and raising the most amazing, little 4 year old boy in the world. He truly is a miracle and a blessing. Could I ask you to pray some specific prayers with us?
1. Pray for peace, patience and dependence on God as we continue to travel this road.
2. One of the things we are most anxious about it how many embryos there will be if everything else goes accordingly. We do not want to have multiples, at least not more than 2, because of risk to the babies or myself. We do not want to have too many embryos to freeze, and then the decisions that come along with that. But what we really want...is what God wants.
3. Pray that my body reacts positively to the medicines and procedures.
4. And my biggest prayer has not been for myself or the possible new life (lives). It has been for Carter. I want him to be prepared, as much as possible, to have an open heart in sharing his Mommy and Daddy and home with a sibling or siblings. Right now, he is our world...and he knows it ;). Just as we are praying for God to prepare us for what He has planned for us, please join us in praying for Carter's heart and mind to be prepared for what God has planned for him.
Thanks for reading...stay tuned. I promise I'll be back.
